I tried some Card Sentiment poetry
I've been a busy chap, juggling various activities...
For my Zazzle store I thought I'd do a couple of thankyou cards with a poem for the sentiment. Hmm, not quite sure, what do you think? Does it catch the sentiment ok or should I think about changing it?
An answer to my prayers
Copyright © 2009 Highton Ridley
create & buy custom products at Zazzle
Don't be shy, I'd love to hear what you think—yes, you blokes as well!!
comments / critique / feedback always welcome :)
Stumble It!
This evening, I'm a poet...
...maybe :)For my Zazzle store I thought I'd do a couple of thankyou cards with a poem for the sentiment. Hmm, not quite sure, what do you think? Does it catch the sentiment ok or should I think about changing it?
Thank you for being you
For always being there
For shielding me from all the hurts
When thoughts became despair
But due the most, are thanks for beingBut most of all you have my thanks
The answer to my prayers
An answer to my prayers
create & buy custom products at Zazzle
Don't be shy, I'd love to hear what you think—yes, you blokes as well!!
comments / critique / feedback always welcome :)
Labels: cards, colour, emotions, shop
Stumble It!
posted by Highton-Ridley at
21:41
6 Comments:
MODERN RAP BIRTHDAY.
This is a birthday rap,
So put on your shoes and tap,
This message is on its way,
From me to you, Happy Birthday.
©S.Mackinder.1995.
RETIREMENT
As time and tide slowly ebb,
You've been busy weaving your web,
So now's the time to reap and relax,
And live your life to the max.
©S.Mackinder 1995
Hey imac - good to see you around! I think your little ditties are lots of fun! They almost scan, too!
Prob not good enuf for your cards, but if you wish to use , thats ok if you give me credit Mark.lol.
I'm not an expert, as you know. The two first strophes are perfect. The last one needs a little touch in the first verse, and will be. In my opinion, you have a future as a Poet, but as a teacher I say you need to work on the subject, because it's promising. Potential, my friend, you have. Lots. Very sincere.
@Sylvia - ooh, that's a bit technical for me but I got the drift (once I looked up the meaning of 'strophe')
I wasn't overly happy with the last two lines anyway (I think that's where you were saying more work was needed). So what do you think of the change?
I like them as they are...lovely!
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